NEW

Well... nothing much has changed since I posted my last post. I am still jobless and still waste a lot of time doing nothing, however, I am no longer doing nothing at Jason's apartment; I am now doing nothing in my own apartment! Gotta admit, that is a slight improvement. Anyways I've been very happy lately and I don't really know why. For the last couple of weeks I have been feeling extra good about myself... even though I'm still fat, got a lot weaker, haven't found a job yet and still can't pay my own rent. It is like I got a new surge of confidence or something and god damn it feels great! I think the key to having a good day is to wake up think happy thoughts and then just smile and hold it for about three minutes and then try to smile as much as possible at people throughout the day. If you hold a smile you will naturally become happier. Try it for like 45 seconds! Right now!

NOW!

Anyways, one thing that I haven't been doing that I have talked about doing forever is running. During spring quarter I was always thinking to myself like, "yeah in the summer I'm going to have so much time, and I'm gonna run and stuff and get hella ripped and do this and do that..." Now I have all this time and I haven't really done anything to improve my health. Every day I'm always thinking "yeah I will run tomorrow" but it never happens. Want to know why? Because running sucks. Running sucks so bad. God damn I hate running. Haha...yeeeeeah... I will start running soon.

Do you know what else I need to start doing more and possibly better? Lifting. Yeah, I haven't really been going to the gym that much either. Summer definitely threw my schedule off. After finals week and then that damn family trip around midwest America and then the moving and the throbbing headaches from lifting, I have kind of lost my enthusiasm to lift. Well... maybe not my enthusiasm but definitely my intensity. Also losing my training partner didn't help either. (miss you buddy) But anyways no, I am not whining without reason and I will be getting back into it soon. I was just building up to my newest topic of discussion which is (not that interesting)... Not being able to lift as much as you had in the past is a horrible feeling. It's probably one of the top three horrible feelings I can think off the top of my head right now. Which are: 1. going to the casino and losing a lot of money, 2. going to the pier for 6 hours and not catching any fish and 3. going to the gym and realizing you are weaker than your past self.

Yea knowing that you used to be better at something than you are now is just a horrible feeling. If I were ever to go back in time and meet myself in the past, I would definitely want to be capable of kicking my own ass. Also, If my future self came back in time and saw me, I would probably not be very happy knowing that my present self can punk on my future self. Just some things to think about. Anyways, I think we should all strive for improvement everyday. I am not just talking about getting stronger in the gym but pretty much at everything you do. Get better at your job, get better at studying, get better at cooking, get better looking and etc. And I'm not talking years or months here, I'm talking days. Today, you should be better than yourself yesterday at everything. EVERYTHING. If yesterday-you came and challeged today-you in a competition at who's better at everything, today-you will kick ass in every single category. I guess it will be acceptable to tie in certain categories. But never lose! You should always improve! Getting better at stuff also makes you feel good. (thank you mr. obvious)

On another note, thanks for everyone who came to my birthday get together yesterday. I had a super awesome time. I think that was probably the most fun I had all summer. I am just sad I passed out so early. I'm not really a big birthday person and that was like my first birthday party since highschool but yeah that was very fun. so thanks! This morning when I woke up I was really happy that I didn't yack last night, but then like 20 minutes later I looked down and there was my vomit on the carpet. hahaha fail.

and this is why youre gay

This conversation lasted for about 30 minutes

al CHANG la: yo face
olilosuzie143: why yes i ammm
al CHANG la: yo face is gay
olilosuzie143: YO FACE is jealous of my face
al CHANG la: you mean
al CHANG la: sad for
olilosuzie143: no i meant jealous
al CHANG la: no
al CHANG la: you mean
al CHANG la: youre gay
olilosuzie143: okok
olilosuzie143: you are gay
al CHANG la: ok ok
al CHANG la: youre really gay
olilosuzie143: fine!
olilosuzie143: you are REALLY gay
olilosuzie143: happy!
olilosuzie143: so demanding
al CHANG la: ok ok
al CHANG la: fine
al CHANG la: i admit
al CHANG la: you are extra gay
olilosuzie143: extra awesome? yes i am
al CHANG la: no no
al CHANG la: youre extra gay
olilosuzie143: AWESOME?
olilosuzie143: yes i know
al CHANG la: its awesome
al CHANG la: that youre okay with being gay
olilosuzie143: you are ok with being gay?
olilosuzie143: r ur parents ok with it?
al CHANG la: my parents are okay with me having a gay friend
al CHANG la: so dont worry
al CHANG la: its really okay
olilosuzie143: i am happy they accept your gay-ness
olilosuzie143: some gay people have a hard time
olilosuzie143: coming out
al CHANG la: i am also happy they let me be your friend even though you are gay
al CHANG la: you didnt seem to have a hard time coming out
olilosuzie143: i accept you my gay friend
olilosuzie143: do you need help telling people?
olilosuzie143: i can put it on facebook or something
olilosuzie143: whatever helps
olilosuzie143: but i'm pretty sure people already know how gay you are
al CHANG la: youre going to tell everyone that youre gay on facebook?
al CHANG la: thats a good idea
olilosuzie143: people look at you facebook and already know you are gay
al CHANG la: youre pretty gay
al CHANG la: did you know that?
olilosuzie143: OMFG i can't belive this just happened....
al CHANG la: what you realized that you were gay?
olilosuzie143: no
olilosuzie143: shit
olilosuzie143: someone just imed me
olilosuzie143: it freaking me out
al CHANG la: who
olilosuzie143: i dont know
olilosuzie143: some random dude
al CHANG la: whatd he say
olilosuzie143: he told me
olilosuzie143: YOU ARE FUCKING GAY
olilosuzie143: hahahahahaahahaha
al CHANG la: o so he knows youre gay too?
al CHANG la: i guess everyone really does know that youre gay
olilosuzie143: balingrot: albert chang is the so fucking gay
olilosuzie143: seee
al CHANG la: OMG
al CHANG la: he imed me too
al CHANG la: balingrot: suzie magante is the so fucking gay
olilosuzie143: do you know who it is?
al CHANG la: no
olilosuzie143: who the fuck is it
olilosuzie143: they signed off beofre i could respond
olilosuzie143: balingrot: suzie
al CHANG la: apparently someone who knows youre gay
olilosuzie143: balingrot: you are awesome
olilosuzie143: WTF
al CHANG la: uh
al CHANG la: wow
olilosuzie143: this person is so wierd
olilosuzie143: hahaha
al CHANG la: i know
al CHANG la: and a dumbass
olilosuzie143: check if its thomas
al CHANG la: its not
olilosuzie143: whatever
olilosuzie143: whoever it is
olilosuzie143: is pretty much right
olilosuzie143: you are gay
olilosuzie143: and i am awesome
al CHANG la: nah
al CHANG la: youre pretty much
al CHANG la: an idiot
olilosuzie143: not even
olilosuzie143: this conversation is gay
al CHANG la: and youre part of it
olilosuzie143: and you started it
al CHANG la: annnnnnnnnnnd youre gay
olilosuzie143: haha no moreeee
olilosuzie143: i cant take anymore of your gayness

Nothing great

I don't really have anything specific to talk about today so I guess I will just update you on my life since I want to keep up with this blog.

Anyways, I had finally found a summer job which I started this week as a summer camp counselor. Basically all I have to do is play with some kids and entertain them for 5 hours a day. Believe it or not, I am actually pretty good with kids. Yes, I know I don't seem like the type but I'm not gonna lie; kids really like me. Haha, anyways I was actually having a pretty good time with them even though they were really tiring me out. The other day, I took a nap at 7PM and didnt wake up until 9AM the next day. Anyways, I accidentally said "shit" in front of them while playing basketball and got fired. No warning or anything. Even though I really shouldn't have done that, I'm pretty sure they only fired me because they didn't get that many kids to sign up this year and didn't want to pay an extra person to do nothing. Now I am jobless again and I really regret buying those kids ice cream.

So I spent the last three to four days doing with I do best, which is sitting on the couch and wasting time on my laptop. According to youtube.com I have watched over 7,000 videos. If every video averages out to be about two minutes long, then... I have spent approximately 233 hours watching youtube. That's like 10 whole days. Yes, I know. Wow what a fucking loser. Haha. So I'm staying at my friends apartment right now since I'm in between houses for the next 10 days, but the only difference about here and my old house is that I spend the whole day on my laptop sitting on his couch rather than sitting on my bed.

Man I feel unproductive. I really need to get a job so I can stop being a lazy ass. You know how it is when you have a lot to do so you stay really focused and finish everything. And when you don't have a lot to do, you just procrastinate and don't do much. Yeah... I'm pretty much the second one right now. My personal improvement and SLOF lists have not really changed and I haven't been lifting as much as I should be. No, I am not feeling sad or anything, just feeling incredibly lazy. Definitely need some sort of motivation right now. Hopefully I will feel more motivated after I get a job. By the way, if you know if theres an opening where you're working please let me know.

That's about it for now. Oh yeah, by the way my birthday is coming up this week and I will probably have something small, maybe after I move into my new place. Not exactly sure what yet but I'll letchy'all know. Or if you have any good ideas, you can let me know.

H.A.G.S!