NEW

Well... nothing much has changed since I posted my last post. I am still jobless and still waste a lot of time doing nothing, however, I am no longer doing nothing at Jason's apartment; I am now doing nothing in my own apartment! Gotta admit, that is a slight improvement. Anyways I've been very happy lately and I don't really know why. For the last couple of weeks I have been feeling extra good about myself... even though I'm still fat, got a lot weaker, haven't found a job yet and still can't pay my own rent. It is like I got a new surge of confidence or something and god damn it feels great! I think the key to having a good day is to wake up think happy thoughts and then just smile and hold it for about three minutes and then try to smile as much as possible at people throughout the day. If you hold a smile you will naturally become happier. Try it for like 45 seconds! Right now!

NOW!

Anyways, one thing that I haven't been doing that I have talked about doing forever is running. During spring quarter I was always thinking to myself like, "yeah in the summer I'm going to have so much time, and I'm gonna run and stuff and get hella ripped and do this and do that..." Now I have all this time and I haven't really done anything to improve my health. Every day I'm always thinking "yeah I will run tomorrow" but it never happens. Want to know why? Because running sucks. Running sucks so bad. God damn I hate running. Haha...yeeeeeah... I will start running soon.

Do you know what else I need to start doing more and possibly better? Lifting. Yeah, I haven't really been going to the gym that much either. Summer definitely threw my schedule off. After finals week and then that damn family trip around midwest America and then the moving and the throbbing headaches from lifting, I have kind of lost my enthusiasm to lift. Well... maybe not my enthusiasm but definitely my intensity. Also losing my training partner didn't help either. (miss you buddy) But anyways no, I am not whining without reason and I will be getting back into it soon. I was just building up to my newest topic of discussion which is (not that interesting)... Not being able to lift as much as you had in the past is a horrible feeling. It's probably one of the top three horrible feelings I can think off the top of my head right now. Which are: 1. going to the casino and losing a lot of money, 2. going to the pier for 6 hours and not catching any fish and 3. going to the gym and realizing you are weaker than your past self.

Yea knowing that you used to be better at something than you are now is just a horrible feeling. If I were ever to go back in time and meet myself in the past, I would definitely want to be capable of kicking my own ass. Also, If my future self came back in time and saw me, I would probably not be very happy knowing that my present self can punk on my future self. Just some things to think about. Anyways, I think we should all strive for improvement everyday. I am not just talking about getting stronger in the gym but pretty much at everything you do. Get better at your job, get better at studying, get better at cooking, get better looking and etc. And I'm not talking years or months here, I'm talking days. Today, you should be better than yourself yesterday at everything. EVERYTHING. If yesterday-you came and challeged today-you in a competition at who's better at everything, today-you will kick ass in every single category. I guess it will be acceptable to tie in certain categories. But never lose! You should always improve! Getting better at stuff also makes you feel good. (thank you mr. obvious)

On another note, thanks for everyone who came to my birthday get together yesterday. I had a super awesome time. I think that was probably the most fun I had all summer. I am just sad I passed out so early. I'm not really a big birthday person and that was like my first birthday party since highschool but yeah that was very fun. so thanks! This morning when I woke up I was really happy that I didn't yack last night, but then like 20 minutes later I looked down and there was my vomit on the carpet. hahaha fail.